2.6 Online Dating: Conclusions

In previous entries, I have explained the pathetic nature of my online dating experience. Update: I placed a profile March 2010 and at the time of this publication, I have yet to receive one message or reply. My profile lingers but I stopped checking or updating it months ago. I actually forgot about it until last week when I was sitting in a coffee shop working.

There was a couple at the table next to me – 40ish – and they were obviously and awkwardly on some kind of first date. I imagined they met online and agreed to meet for coffee – there is safety in crowds. He was so loud and distracting that it was pretty much an invitation to listen. So naturally, I eavesdropped on their conversation.

It went something like this:

MAN: Me, me, me, me… [you get the point]

WOMAN [every once in a while]: Yeah, really?

I learned way too many details about his life. His illness as a small child, his ultra religious strict upbringing and his obsession with numbers. She couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

The man’s obsession with numbers progressed into a complete discourse on the history of the Masons. He explained the importance of the number nine and how the American one dollar bill – the pyramid with the eye – is a Masonic symbol.

“The Bushes are members – how do you think they both became president? They’re planning on creating a dynasty and setting up Jeb as we speak! Think about that!” He went on to provide an entire list of powerful and influential people suspected of being members.

He kept saying, “Think about that!” It was as though his monologue was full of unknown and fascinating facts. All I kept thinking was: That poor woman. I couldn’t imagine putting myself through this torture, let alone someone else. What are the time parameters she is required to recognize? Can’t she just get up and leave? I am obviously no expert, but I wanted to tell him, “Please shut up! Let her speak and don’t reveal anymore of your paranoid conspiracy theories on the first date.”

Online dating was just not for me. I never knew that so many women were so into UFC, video games and clubbing. The final straw was my ‘matches’ – the people that, through some random survey, displayed who would be your perfect match.

The following is an actual example picked at random and I think it speaks for itself (I started inserting [sic] at the mistakes but gave up):

Came to a point in my life where you just get tired of *searching for that special person*

I think if that special someone is out their,just take it as it comes.Im just your ordinary girl who appreciates the simple things in life. I find men very amusing these days.Im easily pleased but also easily turned-off.I really believe that if somebody really wants to be a part of your life,they'd take the effort to be in it. I like straight-forward nen who knows what they want in life and is willing to build a new adventure with me. To be honest I can be a pretty boring person. I usually like things to be planned out. Im the type that will flop if you decide to change plans.I just hate it,Id rather just stay home instead rather than taking all night to plan something out.What Im looking for in a man? I like men who knows how to treat a lady.Has Respect and knows how to make her feel like she's the only gal in this world.In a relationship I value Respect,trust,loyalty and communication.If you dont got that that I would suggest you move on. Also if your immature and thinks life is a joke pissssofff too.I need a man not a boy toy!! Anywho I think this is getting to long now so feel free to drop me a message!